I Am One Who Supports My Creative Inner Child

I Am One Who Supports My Creative Inner Child

I took a tele-class from SoulCollage® Facilitator Anne Marie Bennett called "Exploring the Shadow with Light of SoulCollage®".  During this class I made a card about an inner 5 year old full of despair. An unfortunate life event

caused this child to believe that she was unloved, and she was largely unable to recognize the behaviors of others in

her life that proved her wrong.  I found that she was linked to a card I made of a hostile teenager called "I Am One Who

Has Strong Defenses. Both of these parts of self can now be offered love and support, now they have had the light of my awareness focused on them.  

What followed was a series of cards that offer support to my my inner children. There is a baby card I will post later and 

this card above. At first the voice of this card was from the woman in red, an adult part of myself. She tells the child that

her creativity is celebrated and that the shoulder bag represents the supplies she will have to help her express herself.

Later I was aware of the second voice of this card: I Am One Who is Full of Creative Ideas, I Am One Who is So Excited 

to Have Permission to Be Expressive, I Am One Who Has a LOT of Energy and Enthusiasm, I Am One Who Loves to Draw and Paint, I Am One Who Loves Color and Texture.

The colorful background was from a science magazine. Electron Microscope photos of cellular activity. That is how deep

I want my support for my inner child to be: down to the cellular level. 

I Am One Who Is Grateful

I Am One Who Is Grateful

This image was part of a larger illustration of an article in Experience Life magazine by Courtney Helgoe. The part pasted to my card illustrates the reason I think gratitude is important to me. When I am aware of what I am grateful for in my life, rather than focusing on what appears to make my life less than perfect, this keeps me open to receiving opportunities and available to witness amazing occurrences in everyday life.

In addition to this lovely illustration I also added a related pink color to the right and left sides of my card with Derwent Inktense Watercolor Pencils and doodles with Gelly Roll pens.

I Am One Who is Willing to Receive

I Am One Who is in Communion With Higher Power

I Am One Who is Willing to Receive Abundance in All Areas of My Life

I Am One Who Experiences Fullness

I Am One Who is Complete

I Am One Who is Grateful for Life

I Am One Who is Willing to Receive a Rain of Daisies

I Am One Who Shares My Love

I Am One Who is Willing to Receive Love

I Am One Who is Loved

SoulCollage® Empty Nest

I Am One Who Mourns the Empty Nest

I've been doing some prompts with my art journaling group related to Croning, or growing older and embracing power and wisdom, as well as accepting the losses and challenges related to aging. We've been looking at the 13 Characteristics of a Juicy Crone in Jean Shinoda Bolen's book Crones Don't Whine.

One thing that has come up for me relates to the bout of depression I've been going through. I finally realized that although I am now retired (but will always work with SoulCollage®, Creativity and Art Therapy) and working on making friends with old age, I am still the mother who is watching her son move from young adulthood to adulthood. I finally saw that part of me is mourning the impending reality of my empty nest.

I seriously had the illusion that since my life has always been full of learning and exploring and creativity that I would not experience the "Empty Nest Syndrome" I thought reserved for suburban housewives whose lives have always been structured around their children. I came late to motherhood, birthing my son when I was 45. Now he is 18 and I am 64, and, like everyone always said, the time flew.

I am trying to plan for my future life as an single elder woman while helping him flex his wings and learn to fly. Not smooth for us, not like boarding a plane and short hours later arriving at a new destination. Of course life drives us on, whether we are ready for changes or not. Many potholes on this road have been jarring, nothing is simple. I've tried to be mother, father and friend to my child. Of course it is his job now to hate me, tolerate me and love me in unpredictable doses. Of course he demands independence and freedom but struggles mightily with paying attention to getting necessary things done, and turning his attention to life's requirements. And WHY hasn't he yet gotten his driver's license? I know he is equal parts (some days) wanting to grow up and wanting to remain a child. 

The card pictures my empty nest with my well loved son smiling and close by on the left (past). The toy car represents my exhaustion with constant driving, my love for toys and my desire for him to drive himself, both in his life and in his (own) car. The nest is empty but contains feathers (wishes, dreams, memories, blessings) and a Crow on the right (future) is bringing a shiny orange orb to the nest. Hmm, perhaps I haven't lost all my marbles yet, lol.

I Am One Who Mourns the Empty Nest

I Am One Who Drives My Son Everywhere,All the Time

I Am One Who is Ready to Begin My Solitary Life

I Am One Who Wishes My Son to Make His Way Into the World

I An One Who Wishes My Son to Find His True Vocation and His Life's Companion

I Am One Who is Lonely

I Am One Who Fears the Financial and Physical Challenges of Old Age

I Am One Who Has a Nest Feathered with Treasured Memories, Creative Projects and Friends

I Am One Who Misses the Innocent Toys of Childhood

I Am One Who Knows the Future Brings Treasures and Joy

I Am One Who Honors the Life-Death-Life Cycle

I Am One Who Celebrates My Sister Crones and Our Place in Life

I Am One Who Is Grateful for What the Crow Brings.

I Am One Who Withdraws When Overstimulated

I Am One Who Withdraws When Overstimulated.

I Am One Who Withdraws When Overstimulated. Sometimes I get frustrated with my highly sensitive introverted self. I've been working on more compassion for the rhythms I require, although I do not always understand them. I am attracted to vivid colors and experiences, but am also one who gets exhausted by too much noise and other stimulation, and needs to just withdraw and recharge. The world is a hot, bright place to me sometimes. It's OK to withdraw to my cool, private world.