Elixir for Clarity

Elixir C

Redline stamps: text, "message" bottle. Ranger archival ink (sepia). Various clips for herbal elements. Butterfly from K & Company. Blue denim blank, yellow plastic blank, Plaid Liquid Embossing Fluid (clear).

I feel like I haven't posted in a while. I've been trying to decide what to do about my living situation and things are still up in the air. My prayer with this elixir card is for clarity. It contains an encouragement to open the door of creativity, a pencil (for writing, drawing), an admonition towards transformation/change (butterfly) and the practical and nurturing beauty of simple flowers. Beauty always softens my heart and raises my spirits.

I need to reduce living expenses but don't want my son to go to live with his dad and don't want to move to a dangerous neighborhood. Each 100.00 that comes off the rent moves us farther from our gentrified surrounds. I've lived in several urban areas in the past where I would rather not raise a kid. Things are different now that I am older, have a son just emerging into the teens, and know better what is at risk, and have seen some of those risks face to face.

Need to get back to trusting the Universe and myself--have been in panic mode where I think I have to control everything and force the results. Of course that never, ever works well. Get that adrenalin rush and start gripping my weapons and looking for the enemy. I think the only actual enemy is my fear. A cliche because it shows itself to be true, again and again.

More Elixirs

Elixir B

Redline stamps, K & Company embellishments, glitter, photo clips, letter sticker, yellow plastic and blue denim blank. Ranger archival ink (sepia). Plaid liquid embossing fluid.

Today I was thinking about how these cards with the bottles of elixirs remind me of going to an institute of Chinese medicine in Denver and getting my mixtures of exotic looking herbs, berries and pods to take home and simmer and drink. It was when I was in my late 30's, had had a miscarriage, and had finally realized that having children in one's lifetime wasn't as simple as deciding to have one and then getting pregnant at will. Not that it isn't for some. But miscarrying an unplanned pregnancy made me realize that I didn't control such things after all.

Worried about being close to 40 and not knowing when I would meet Mr. Right I began to worry about my fertility. The cliche of the biological alarm going off proved true. A Chinese doctor was sympathetic. I diligently took my herbal concoctions and endured acupuncture.

Years later it seemed to have worked. I met Mr. Right Then and got pregnant, just as if I'd planned it, at age 45. I'm sitting across from my perfect 13 year old as I write this. Life is miraculous. But something larger than us spins the wonder. We do what we can and sometimes, thankfully, have just the luck we need.

Take Your Medicine

Take Your Medicine

I used two Redline stamps: "Message" and an ATC background/script stamp. Blue denium atc card stock. Ranger archival ink. Yellow plastic. Planet stickers (Paper House Productions).

Saturn is the planet of "long hard lessons". Add a little mercury, the planet of communications. Sometimes bitter medicine, but its a learning opportunity, really.

I found out on Tuesday that I need to move by month's end. Something I had been contemplating but had decided to stay put. It's not to be. I like the opportunity to downsize, throw out junk, clean and clear. Makes me tired to look at all my books, papers, art supplies and artwork I need to pack and unpack. Yikes. Wish me luck.