Saturday, June 19, 2010

Elixir for Clarity

Elixir C

Redline stamps: text, "message" bottle. Ranger archival ink (sepia). Various clips for herbal elements. Butterfly from K & Company. Blue denim blank, yellow plastic blank, Plaid Liquid Embossing Fluid (clear).

I feel like I haven't posted in a while. I've been trying to decide what to do about my living situation and things are still up in the air. My prayer with this elixir card is for clarity. It contains an encouragement to open the door of creativity, a pencil (for writing, drawing), an admonition towards transformation/change (butterfly) and the practical and nurturing beauty of simple flowers. Beauty always softens my heart and raises my spirits.

I need to reduce living expenses but don't want my son to go to live with his dad and don't want to move to a dangerous neighborhood. Each 100.00 that comes off the rent moves us farther from our gentrified surrounds. I've lived in several urban areas in the past where I would rather not raise a kid. Things are different now that I am older, have a son just emerging into the teens, and know better what is at risk, and have seen some of those risks face to face.

Need to get back to trusting the Universe and myself--have been in panic mode where I think I have to control everything and force the results. Of course that never, ever works well. Get that adrenalin rush and start gripping my weapons and looking for the enemy. I think the only actual enemy is my fear. A cliche because it shows itself to be true, again and again.

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